WHERE I AM AND HOW I GOT HERE

In July of 2024 I was more certain about one thing than I had ever been before. Graduating a year early from high school felt like stepping off a cliff, but being promised that there was indeed a bridge, but I just could not see it. Though I believed that there was much to be gained, at times the things that I would have to give up felt too great. But if your vision and priorities stay small, your life will stay small.

and whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying THIS IS THE WAY, WALK IN IT.

So, I made the decision to quit playing volleyball, and graduate a full year early, without any idea of where I would go to college, or what I would major in.

Though I had no idea of realistically what this would look like, I was fully convinced that this was Gods way for me, and that I was being told to walk in it. Crazy. I decided that during my gap year, I would work for the first semester and then travel for the rest of the year. I had some crazy ideas about what that would be. For a while I was convinced that I was going to work a contract on a cruise ship. Then I was planning to volunteer at a conference center in Austria and then go to a language school in Spain. Then I was going to Indonesia for an internship with Missionary Aviation Fellowship. All of these were good plans as I saw it, but the doors were just not opening, even though I tried to force them open. As the year progressed it was so frustrating to be getting nearer and nearer to graduation but still have no plan for the next year.

But this problem, which had caused me so much anxiety, soon took its place on the back burner. In February I found myself in a place that I never would have thought I would be. I found myself saying that after what I had just experienced, I could not go on with my life. Making it through each day was hard enough, let alone having to make a decision that would impact the rest of my life in such a big way. When my entire world as I knew it fell apart, I felt unable to handle it. And the truth is, I was fully unequipped and completely unable to handle it. When I did not want my life anymore, I gave my life to someone who wanted it.

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so the tested genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, and honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ!

If I have ever found myself looking for real purpose, I do not have to look very far. Having experienced for myself, that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and the peace that surpasses all understanding, how could I doubt the one in whose hands I placed my life? In those next months, though the hardest of my life, I learned more about the character of God than ever could have known. I gave up my desires and plans for what my next year would look like, knowing that God cared about my desires. Some things I hoped for this year was to live in a Spanish speaking country, to continue my education, and to have mission opportunities. But I did not think it was realistic to find a way to do all three. Only when I was fully at peace and content in waiting did God reveal what this next step would be.

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine…. 

More than I could ever imagine. That is where I find myself now. On a semester trip with The World Race, combining college classes credits, with ministry, and in three different countries. All of which are Spanish speaking. More than I could ask for. Raising full support without asking for anything, but only by being surrounded by a praying and believing community. That is provision, and assurance that I am walking on the right path.

Now I am just excited. I am excited for these next 4 months, and I am excited for next year, though I do not know what that will look like. Funny how that happens. Please keep my in your prayers for direction and discernment for my next steps, and also for where I am right now, to be fully present and content. I am looking forward to continuing to update this page as my team and I start our ministry projects in Chiapas.